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Breaking Free From Shame – 4 Steps To Take Back Your Power

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I’ve been thinking about shame lately. And the more I awaken to a higher perspective, the more apparent it becomes that shame is being used as a way to manipulate and keep us out of our knowing. I personally have allowed my intuition to be erased by shame and am working on ways to stay in my power.

So how do we know when this is happening and break free from the manipulation?

Several months ago I almost did something I knew deep down to my core was wrong. I nearly reversed a decision on a matter that was extremely important to me. Metaphysically I’d had dreams about it. Intellectually I’d done my research. And intuitively my heart knew it was wrong for me. But the societal pressure and shame to go against all of this knowing almost won me over.  I am human and just wanted to belong and be accepted. Thankfully I was aware enough to see the manipulation and  remained true to the original decision. It wasn’t easy. I felt alone.

NO ONE wants to be left out or shunned.

Societal shame is propagated within the masses. It works brilliantly because we are social creatures and need our tribe. I honestly can’t think of a better way to keep us from walking in our inherent light than the thought of being ostracized by the people we care about most.

According to Dr. Jenna Field, “Shaming may be very effective in changing one’s behavior in the short-term but shaming tends to have a corrosive effect on the receiver, on relationships, and even on the shamer.” She goes on to state that, “Shaming hijacks our sense of agency; our self-critical voice depletes our mental energy and its internal focus distracts us from finding external solutions.”  Let’s read that again:

Shaming hijacks our sense of agency. That’s a big deal.

So how do we take back our power after being shamed?

Recognize that you’ve been shamed. There are physical signs and red flags that occur when we feel shame. You may feel like hiding or curling up in a fetal position. More than likely you’ll feel it in your heart space and feel defeated. As with most things, recognition is the first step when making a change.

Deep dive into how the shame triggered you personally. Maybe you’ve already done work on your shadow self, but if you haven’t this is a good reason to start. Once you know your triggers and release your attachment to them it’s much easier to recognize manipulation.

Become comfortable with your intuition and how it feels. Our inner knowing shows up differently for each of us. Sometimes it’s dreams, sometimes a physical sensation or maybe synchronistic nudges. Knowing how intuition communicates with you and your body is the key to having it work for you.

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Know thyself. Become a sovereign human being. Know yourself and cultivate the ability to remain anchored in that self even when things feel hard or you feel completely alone. I can’t stress this enough and it’s why I mention it almost every time I write something. Knowing yourself and what that feels like for you is imperative right now. Walking in your own unwavering light and knowing will be what helps to define the next several years as we collectively shift into a higher consciousness.

Shame is toxic and divisive and can acquire great manipulative power. However we can shift the tide of that manipulation by standing in our Truth. Shame is something that is felt from the inside out and can only hurt you if you let it. When you are secure in who you are – when you stand in your incandescent knowing, it cannot touch you.

Stephanie Gray

Stephanie Gray is a process arts facilitator, Creative Self - Discoverist, writer and artist and is co-founder of Creative Nectar Studio. Stephanie has been process painting since 1996 and facilitating since 2009. Working from her home studio and on line with folks all over the globe she combines process art making, creative writing, active listening, heart-based questioning and over 20 years of her own self-discovery practice to assist individuals in living a more authentic life, cultivating awareness of their sacred selves.

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